Chicken Lilly Liver
“OH CRUD!” I screamed in my own head. My eyes opened and I sat up in bed. Heather, startled and falling off me, panicked.
“WHAT?” she gasped …
The night had started so peaceful. We had three small kids. After our Sunday activities, we gathered the family around and played games, watched a Disney movie, and relaxed. Soon it was “fight night”, or more affectionately called “bedtime”. The kids went to bed and were finally asleep.
Heather and I went to our bedroom, closed and locked the door, and settled in for “FRIGHT NIGHT”. As soon as the door shut, clothes were flying in every direction until we were naked in bed.
We cuddled and kissed, groped and probed, nibbled and licked. And then we had fun.
As with most men, I fall asleep soon after a good orgasm. As usual, Heather, who was on top when we made love, was still lying on top of me slowly rotating and gyrating her hips to squeeze every last ounce of tingle from her orgasm. Sometimes she gets lucky and generates a second wave of fun.
It’s usually not a long sleep but it’s a very contented sleep. Not this night. This was SUNDAY night. This was the night before MONDAY. Monday was “Garbage Day”. Something kicked in my brain.
“OH CRUD!” I screamed in my own head. My eyes opened and I sat up in bed. Heather, startled and falling off me, panicked.
“WHAT?” she gasped …
“I forgot to take the garbage cans to the street,” I replied.
“SERIOUSLY? You scared the crap outta me!” she replied not ashamed to show her annoyance. “Take em out in the morning before you go to work.”
“I’ll forget. I’m stupid like that,” I said.
“You’re an idiot,” she shot back with an annoyed smile.
“I know. But they’re full and spilling over. I gotta get out there,” I mumbled.
“FINE!” she snorted. “You’ve already ruined a perfectly good afterglow. Creep!” she smiled.
I moved to the edge of the bed and started looking for underwear, pants, anything to put on. When the kids went to sleep and our door closed, we wasted no time ripping each other’s clothes off. There was a blizzard of clothing strewn from the door to the bed.
“It’s two in the morning,” she growled. “Just go the way you are.”
“I’m bare assed naked,” I retorted.
“It’s a cute ass,” she purred. “Just go. I’ll cover for you.”
“No, I need something on,” I protested.
“Chicken!” she challenged.
“Chicken? HA!” I shot back still looking for a cover.
“I dare ya.”
“Oh you dare me? Like I won’t?”
“You’re a chicken lilly liver!”
OK, NO ONE CALLS ME A CHICKEN LILLY LIVER!!! NO ONE!!!
“Fine. I’ll show you!” Challenge accepted.
We both got up and went to the door. I opened it and peeked out to make sure no kids were present. The coast was clear so we made our way, giggling, out to the side door that opens into the carport where the garbage cans are. I opened the door and peeked out to be sure no one was out there.
Heather, still naked, standing behind me, her hands on my arms, her firm, perky breasts burning holes in my shoulder blades, her flat belly warming my back, her hips and groin set fire to my ass, playfully whispered, “You’re not going to go, are you, CHICKEN!?”
“YES I AM!” I whispered back. She giggled. I suddenly get a feeling I’m being played. Nah! She’s not THAT clever.
Our house, while in the middle of town, was a bit secluded and the nearest streetlight is half a block away. The neighbor’s house was right on top of us but there are no windows on the side facing ours. We had two big pine trees in our front yard that covered enough of our house that most people would drive past without realizing a house was there. There’s a row of high bushes on the neighbor’s side that made our driveway quite private. But, there’s a house right across the street with a perfect view of our house. But all was clear.
With all the lights off, I stepped out into the carport, slid around the car, grabbed both cans, tipped them up on their wheels, and headed for the street. I’ve never been a “barefoot” kind of guy so every pebble I stepped on was sending waves of tickle pain through my body. I was “hot footing” it up the driveway as fast as I could.
I got the cans in the proper place and started my sprint back down the driveway. About halfway there, every stinkin’ light on the outside of the house lit up. SHE SET ME UP! I LOVE THIS WOMAN!
I ran back into the carport and grabbed the doorknob. LOCKED!
“CRAP! HEATHER! LET ME IN!” I wailed. I could hear her laughing on the other side of the door.
“What?” she said tormenting me. “I can’t hear you.”
“I’M GONNA KILL YOU! LET ME IN!” I commanded.
“If you’re gonna kill me, why would I let you in?” Logical question. That doesn’t happen often. I needed to think fast.
“Ok, I’ll kill you with kisses and hugs. Let me in, please!” I begged.
“I don’t believe you,” she teased. “I think you want to kill me with a baseball bat.” WOW, she’s smart AND cute. I married a winner.
“FINE!” I wasn’t going to be out smarted by this chick. I took off to the front door. I knew I had forgot to lock it when we went to bed. When I got there, HA! Oh crap! She already locked it. She’s DEVIOUS!
Now I’m on the front porch and a car is coming down the street.
“HEATHER, SOMEONE IS COMING! LET ME IN!” I pleaded.
“What’s the password?” she teased. Maybe I will kill her.
“PASSWORD?” I shrieked. “LET ME IN! I’M BARE ASSED NAKED!”
“Nope,” she giggled. “Try again.”
The car was too close for me to do much of anything so I turned, in all my glory, faced the street, and smiled and waved at the occupants as they drove SLLLLLLOOOOOWWWWWWLY by.
I turned back to the door. “Ok, you’ve had your fun. Let me in.” I could still hear her giggling.
“What’s the password?” she asked again. I better think of something before I’m waving at police officers.
“I love you, sweetie, more than life,” I lied. I’ll bet she’ll buy it and I can get on with my plans for the perfect murder.
The door lock clicked and opened. I stepped in and met my gorgeous wife in the entrance wearing nothing but a pretty smile. Looking at that heavenly body, my murder plans faded. She threw her arms around me and tried to kiss me with little success as we were both laughing.
“Funny!” I said dripping with sarcasm.
It was funny. She knew it. I knew it. And then the fun began again.
Playful wives make happy marriages.
0 comments:
Post a Comment